Brand New World

I had barely touched down after Spain when a new adventure was waiting for me. It was a kind of an adventure I didn’t want to talk about beforehand, there are things one feels more comfortable talking about in retrospect, when everything has gone nicely and smoothly.

So. Last Tuesday, after a long time of waiting and after some serious consultation with my bank account and doctors I had an eye surgery. I got rid of my -4,5 glasses, once and for all, hopefully.

Medicine and technology these days... they are a rocket science. They are not almighty, I know that all too well, but some things have been made very easy and painless. To have a touch-free, cut-free and pain-free laser surgery which takes about 15 minutes and after which you walk out on your own two feet and with your own two eyes seems almost too good to be true. But it’s true. I can confirm.

The surgery itself turned out to be hilarious – not quite what one would expect of such serious business. Here’s why. I had had two very thorough check-ups on my eyes over the past six months and in that process I also had to fill up a dozen or so forms with all sorts of information about myself and my medical history. So I walk into the doctor’s office on Tuesday morning - the doctor being clearly a very successful and confident young man - and he casually sits me down for the last brief check up. He glances at the papers I have filled and suddenly gets raving excited about the fact that a pastor has walked into his office. „Oh, what a pleasure!” he exclaims. „I’ve just recently had a Buddhist monk come in for a surgery, it is so lovely to have such spiritual people coming to our clinic. OK, the lights are going to be blinding for a moment. Did you say you’re from the Lutheran church? No? An Adventist? Keep looking straight now, I need to check your eyes with this machine. So in two sentences, what’s the difference between Lutherans and Adventists? By the way, I’ll show you the selfie I took with the monk later.” And I’m sitting there, thinking, „Is this for real?!”

It was for real. And later, having been taken to the surgery room, the nurse joined in: „So, doc, were you baptised as a child?” „No, I wasn’t, I wonder why people don’t get baptised much any more. Is it because the life is too good and we don’t feel a need for a greater power? Oh, you’re so lucky to have your faith. By the way, is there, like, a Bible verse or a book you could recommend me if I wanted to know more about Christianity? A Christian minister right here, can you believe!” And I’m doing my very best to stay in the conversation but having one of your eyes taped shut and the other kept open with some gross braces and having stuff done to it, it can really be a bit of a conversation killer. So I let them talk. But the hilarity of the moment is not lost on me and I don’t even have time to get nervous and get my palms sweaty before the whole business is done and over and they help me up. I feel a bit dizzy and disoriented after the surgery so they let me sit there for a few minutes and keep talking to me. The doctor goes to his office and comes back in a second and says, „Hey, I sort of believe in a more holistic approach to health, so here’s a CD for you if you want to watch it later. It’s pretty good.” It’s Forks over Knives. And I’m like, „Let’s talk about holistic approach to health, after all, I’m an Adventist!” Haha! So we do. It turns out he has heard of Loma Linda, and of the fact that Loma Linda Adventists are the longest living urban community in the world. You don’t run into people like this in Estonia every day. Anyway, once I feel I can leave without bumping into doors and walls and am on my way out, he gives me his business card and asks me to let him know when I’m next preaching in Tallinn’s church. „We like to do cultural stuff with our staff occasionally, so let me know, we’ll be there.” Deal, brother.

It doesn’t matter how good the doctor or the technology, the recovery is still slow and rather painful. During the first days I would get serious headaches, the eyes would be sore and itchy. On the third day I had such a strong doudoubleble visivisionon I could barely do anything. I have had to take 6 or 7 medicines daily so my bedroom looks a lot like hospital. My left eye feels weird at times and that worries me. There is no gym, no sauna, and no books available for a while and I miss them all. Some moments I get impatient and am sure my recovery is much slower than it should.

But in between those times I would still have some moments of amazing clarity. I dared to leave the city on Friday and spent a lazy double-visioned weekend at my cousin’s place in Tartu. When sipping my morning tea out on the porch, I would look at the birch tree they have in their back yard and suddenly I would see leaves, and I mean, distinct individual leaves, not one big green mass I’m used to see. It’s amazing. Or I would look at my kitchen curtain and it would have all those delicate lines and shades which, I swear, weren’t there last week. So even now I get a glimpse or two of the world that is clear and sharp and detailed. I had completely forgotten that the world could look like that. It’s as if the world is brand new.

Two more months and I should have perfect eyesight.

And I literally don’t know where my glasses are. I haven’t seen them for a week, and frankly, I haven’t looked for them either. For all I know, I might have left them in the surgery room. And for all I care, they can stay there. It is an euphoric feeling not to know and not to care. Because for the past million years, for every second of the past million years I have always had to know where my glasses were. So this feels like freedom.

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There is no news about books today haha. But as I’ve had to spend a lot of time listening to music, I can say that nothing nothing can beat Adele’s Hello these days.